Mother of Young Baby Among Two Killed in ‘Zone of Coexistance’

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Kim Levengrond Yehezkel, 29, a mother of a baby only 16 months old, and Ziv Hajbi, 35, were brutally murdered in a shooting attack at the Barkan Industrial Park Sunday morning. The two were found tied up and mortally wounded in the office where they worked. Police believe they were shot at close range after being tied up.

 

Efforts to revive them were unsuccessful. Kim leaves behind her husband and baby. Ziv leaves behind his wife and three children under the age of 7. May their memories be a blessing.

A third victim, a 58-year-old woman, was seriously injured with a gunshot wound in the stomach. She had heard noise coming from the office and went to check what was happening. She was shot as she entered the room. Please pray for the full recovery of Sara bat Chava.

Medics who entered the room discovered the woman hiding under one of the desks but fully conscious. They treated her wound and evacuated her to a hospital. She arrived in serious but stable condition.

Both of the victims worked at the Alon Group recycling factory in the industrial park. Kim was a receptionist for the deputy CEO and Ziv was an accountant. The area had long been considered an oasis of coexistence between Jews and Arabs. More than 8,000 people work in the area, half of them Jews and half Palestinians. It was the first terrorist attack ever to take place in the area, and serves as a major blow to the feeling of safety workers in the area enjoyed before the murders.

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Vandalised office

The terrorist is believed to be a 23-year old Palestinian from the village of Shweika near Tulkarem who worked at a factory in the park. He succeeded in sneaking an automatic weapon – a Carlo-style sub machine gun – through security, possibly because he held a work permit. He managed to escape after committing the attack. Israeli security has launched a manhunt to find him.

As the terrorist ran out, he fired at other workers, one of whom was carrying a gun and fired back. Neither managed to hit his target.

According to witnesses, the terrorist also worked at the Alon Group and may have been personally acquainted with his victims. He was an electrician at the plant but had not appeared at work during the weeks before the attack.

President Reuven Rivlin condemned the attack. “I am shocked and saddened by this morning’s terrible terrorist attack at the Barkan industrial area. Our hearts are with the families of those who were killed, and our prayers are with those who are injured,” he said.

“This was not only an attack on innocent people going about their daily lives, it was also an attack on the possibility of Israelis and Palestinians co-existing peacefully. “

OneFamily has reached out to the Yehezkel and Hajbi families. We are at their side through the difficult mourning period and will continue to be there through the stages of grieving that follow. We will stay at their side as long as they need us so that they never feel alone.

If you want to help the families please go to www.onefamilyuk.org/donate or contact andrew@onefamilyuk.org

 

 

Israel Mourns Ari Fuld

Thousands gathered to mourn Ari Fuld

 

From late Sunday night into early Monday morning in Kfar Etzion, a religious kibbutz in the West Bank.

Ari Fuld, 45, left his home for a routine shopping trip and became a national legend for the way he shot a terrorist after he himself was mortally wounded near the Rami Levy supermarket in the Gush Etzion junction.

The father of four, Fuld was the grandson of a Holocaust survivor and had miraculously dodged a bullet while serving as an IDF soldier in Lebanon.

“If there is one word to describe my brother, it was a hero,” his brother Moshe told the mourners who surrounded the small chapel on the edge of the Kfar Etzion cemetery just after midnight on Monday.

“Who else could manage upon sustaining a fatal  injury, to draw his pistol, jump a fence and shoot his attacker to make sure that his attacker would not hurt anyone else; only my brother, only my brother,” Moshe said.

Courage was not just something that came to him in his death, said Moshe, adding that Ari. “was a hero in every aspect of his life.”

Moshe was one of many family members who described a man of strong convictions who stood his ground against all odds. A scholar, with a sense of fun, Ari loved his family, his country and his religion.

Born in New York, Ari immigrated to Israel in 1994. The dual US-Israeli citizen lived in Efrat with his wife Miriam, and was the father of three. He served as a sergeant in an elite paratroopers unit in the IDF reserves, and also served on the Efrat emergency squad.

A well-known pro-Israel advocate his Facebook page stated: “Living the dream! I have a love for the Nation of Israel, Land of Israel and Torah of Israel.”

“Ari never did things half way, whether it was his family, his love for his country, his love for Efrat, his all encompassing religious observance, his karate, his commitment to the security team.

“He was a scholar like no other. His head was always in the Talmud. He went through those pages, like us normal folk read a novel. The thirst for that next page, he could not put it down for anything.

“He was the most grounded person I know,” Moshe said, adding that he was able to stay focused and never neglect other facets of his life. “He had the weight of the world because he put it there and yet he managed to be everything for everyone,” Moshe said.

Ari’s wife Miriam spoke of how her husband had kept the shrapnel that had lodged in his bullet proof vest while he served in Lebanon. He also kept small notebooks in which he jotted down his thoughts during his IDF service.

His wife Miriam, read some of those words, in which he spoke of the importance of courage and his prayer that G-d would let the IDF persevere over their enemies.

“I pray only that I won’t die. I hope that the fear will subside,” Miriam read.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

made a surprise visit to Gush Etzion to visit the Fuld family prior to the burial.

“We are alive because of heroes like Ari. We will always remember him,” Netanyahu said adding that the embraced the family in the name of the nation of Israel.

Earlier under the night stars, teenagers gathered in the Gush Etzion parking lot to bid farewell to Fuld, a well-known social media personality and Israel advocate.

They carried Israeli flags, played guitar, sang mournful songs and placed candles on the pavement in the shape of a Star of David.

Well-known in Jewish communities around the globe, Fuld was assistant director of Standing Together, an organization that supports IDF soldiers. He was an outspoken defender of Israel in the media and online, regularly engaging with Israel’s critics through his Facebook and Twitter accounts.

 

To make a donation to assist victims of terror please go to www.onefamilyuk.org/donate

Terrorist Murders Father of Two Small Children

Stabbing leaves two children without their father

OneFamily is deeply shocked and devastated by the murder of Yotam Ovadia in a cold-blooded stabbing attack on Thursday, July 26 in Adam that also wounded two other people.

 

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Yotam with his family

Yotam, 31, was the father of two small children ages 2 and 10 months, and 7 months. May his memory be a blessing.

The murder robs the family of their loving father and husband, and leaves a widow and two more orphans too young to remember life before their family was shattered by terror.

The terrorist, a 17-year old Palestinian from a nearby town in the West Bank, infiltrated the town of Adam and began stabbing people he encountered, starting with a 58-year-old man, who was moderately wounded, and then Yotam. A third man heard Yotam’s screams and ran to help, sustaining a stab wound before shooting the terrorist.

The murder took place on the night of Tu B’Av, which is similar to Valentine’s Day in Israel. Yotam had brought flowers for his wife Tal and the couple put their children to sleep. He then went to his parents’ home to collect items he had purchased for a romantic dinner.

He never returned.

OneFamily has reached out to the Ovadia family. We are at their side through the difficult mourning period and will continue to be there through the stages of grieving that follow. We will stay at their side as long as they need us so that they never feel alone.

At his funeral, Tal spoke about Yotam as a devoted husband and father.  “I do not know what will happen to me now regarding the children. I do not know how to continue to be strong for the children,” she said.

“We were everything to him, the house was his kingdom. Yotam was a humble and modest working man. He loved me and the children in a way I never saw. Everything he did was only for us. He always made sure it was good. He always put himself last,” she said.

His father also spoke about the fate of Yotam’s children, who will grow up not knowing the father who loved them so much. “The heart breaks at the sound of your little son calling, ‘Daddy, Daddy.’ The little boy cannot go on without you,” he said.

Please help ensure OneFamily is able to help the Ovadia family and other terror victims who need us.

Please donate here to OneFamily today!

One Family bring a group of 19 bereaved fathers from Israel to London

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Bereaved fathers visit London for a respite week

On Tuesday, 12th June. nineteen bereaved fathers, all affected by a terrorist atrocity in Israel, including one father whose son was one of the three boys  kidnapped in 2014 , came together for a very special rehabilitative week in London .

Hosted by families in the Hendon area, they have visited the London Motor Museum as well as being hosted in fabulous riverside home at Marlow for the day in the June sunshine. Last night they had a great evening with a whiskey tasting at the home of a generous supporter.

 

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At the London Motor Museum

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Windsor castle in the morning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Relaxing in Marlow on a sunny June afternoon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Whiskey tasting

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today , Thursday they visit RAF Hendon , golf and shopping and then onto the Lion King this evening.

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Golf afternoon

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Musical interlude at dinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Farewell BBQ

Sunday evening June 17th the group bid farewell to their hosts as the community at Hendon Adath Yisroel Synagogue held a fabulous BBQ for the guests, their hosts and the wider congregation.

Quotes from the hosts:

  • A big big thank you and yeshecoach to David for everything! And to you the lovely host families.
  • The Hendon Adath community embraced this group and we and they thank you so very much.
  • Thank you so much David for everything you have done to make this such an amazing week!
  • It was a real pleasure and honour for us to organise this event- the benefits of which for everyone involved far exceeded our wildest expectations
  • Thanks to One Family David and Linda for organising the trip. The group was very cohesive and despite their constant agony, were able to laugh and befriend the members of Hendon Adass. We opened our houses to them but they opened their hearts to us and we now have new lifetime friends. 

Earlier in the day the group visited Camden market to get a different flavour of London and then took a trip on the canal to Little Venice:

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Canal Boat along the Regents Canal to Little Venice
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Little Venice Pub

Monday- the final farewell

This morning before flying home to their families in Israel the group are taking a flying visit to the British Museum – not a minute to waste!

Sadly they fly home this afternoon and they have left the community missing them already.

Helping each other

Staying with host families makes the experience even greater as they forge friends for life with their hosts . Often, these victims of terror do not know that there are people outside of Israel that care for their wellbeing and this is of great comfort to them.

Each member of the group came to London as strong individuals who have been exposed to terror, yet have chosen to stay positive and choose life despite the bereavement they suffered. This trip enabled the group to get to know each other, as many didn’t know each other well and to be strengthened by the power of being together with people who understand the difficult feelings they have had to cope with following the bereavement of their sibling. The trip literally changes their lives!

How you can help

If you would like to support a future group please contact andrew@onefamilyuk.org

Please like us on Facebook and follow us on twitter

Terror victims attend events in Israel – read more here

Victims of terror have attended events in Israel this year supporting their needs and making new friends.

Read more about them all here:

Our newsletter will be available soon featuring many more news items and ways in which you can help support victims of terror.

 

Terror victims Purim party

At the Purim party this year Chantal Belzberg spoke about the idea of masks and victim of terror put on a mask every day and so did the deputy speaker of the Knesset who is a victim of terror herself. MK Yehuda Glick also urged the victims to take strength from Purim.

All the staff dressed up and it was a very special evening.

One lady who I spent some time with was injured in the April 18 bus bombing last year. Today her face was glowing and she looked so healthy, yet obviously still carrying the pain of what she went through.

This was the first OF event she said she was attending. Interesting enough she worked for many years in 8200 – Israel secret unit.

Her training clearly helped save her life but she was so representative of the human spirit and the wonders of medicine. A true heroine of Israel. She said she appreciates One Family so much but she finds it hard to talk to others because she has been trained for so many years not to talk, but now she is learning to be a civilian and hopes to attend more events in the future.

Another incredible man was someone from Beit Shean who was in a terror attack where he was shot eight times in his face and body  but he has such an “or panim- a light in his face” it was so amazing to meet him.

There were so many special people gathered together under the auspices of One Family .The One Family Bereaved Men’s Choir gave a brilliant performance at our Purim Party. Click on the photo to see and hear for yourself. Every member of the choir has lost a child. They come together to support each other by singing. They meet once a week. Please show your support by inviting them to perform in your community.

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Widowed Yoga Instructor Holds Three-Day Workshop by the Sea

Bereaved mothers participate in therapeutic yoga workshop led by yoga instructor, Miri, a victim of terror who uses yoga to help heal the pain.

“Miri enriched us, both our bodies and our souls! She helped us breathe, release and heal our pain,” one participant told One Family after the workshop. “I felt strengthened spending these days with the group; the strength of each woman who had similar experiences to me was something I found deeply empowering.”

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Orphans of Both Parents Honoured at Reception at President’s Residence

President Reuven Rivlin showed his support for One Family and victims of terror at a special Tu B’Shvat seder with members of our Orphans Division, who lost both parents in terrorist attacks

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Bereaved Parents Bond and Heal to prepare for Yom Hazikaron

Each year, One Family holds a healing retreat for bereaved parents on the Shabbat before Yom Hazikaron to strengthen the families as they prepare for one of the most intense and difficult and days of the year.

This year, more than 340 people took part in the three-day retreat, held at a hotel outside Jerusalem. The couples participated in bonding activities, therapeutic workshops, and group therapy sessions.

Most importantly, they spent time with one another, in a setting that allowed them to speak freely about the children they lost to terror. We call that The Power of Together. Instead of spending energy holding their feelings inside , the bereaved parents were among hundreds of other people who understood the challenges they face and they were able to focus on their loss, so they could meet Memorial Day with strength and confidence.

Following the retreat, many of the parents wrote letters of thanks for helping them find the inner strength they need to face both the day of remembering and the coming year.

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Women’s seminar for victims of terror

In July, One Family hosted an amazing seminar for nearly 600 women – orphans and widows, younger and older – who came together for a day inspiration and empowerment. The theme was “baseless love” and the love spread through the hall thanks to rousing speeches from – Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi,  Lihi Lapid, MK Ayelet Shaked, Renana Meir Cohen and Sivan Rahav-Meir and more.

Widows retreat in August

In August there was a three-day Widows retreat in Kfar Giladi for widows and their children. Summer is a particularly hard time for widows, so to help make the summer vacation a little easier, One Family widows enjoyed activities with their children including Trampoline Park, rafting and relaxing in the hotel swimming pool! The retreat gave a special opportunity for the widows to connect to their children in a relaxed environment without the strain and pressure of everyday life that the widows have had to cope with following the murder of their spouse.

Sukkot at One Family for victims of terror

One Family offered its supporters the opportunity to purchase a lulav and etrog set and to raise money for One Family.

One Family friends and supporters to visit terror victims in their sukkah.

The Youth Division held a number of activities for its members during this holiday time, including day trips to a surfing school in Tel Aviv, a scavenger hunt in Jerusalem, an outdoor activity park in Holon and in the Gush and also the Senior Youth Division welcomed new members with a midnight hike through the Negev.

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Mount Hermon retreat

In February, 350 injured victims and their families attended a day retreat in Mt Hermon.

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Inspiration and Resilience at the Jerusalem Marathon

More than 300 athletes joined Team One Family at the Marathon this year. Victims of terror and their supporters ran side-by-side, and many more joined the team to cheer the runners on and keep spirits high throughout the day.

It was a show of defiance for terror victims, many of whom were injured or bereaved in Jerusalem. For some, it was a return to the very place where their trauma took place.

“The streets of Jerusalem have seen too many tragedies,” said One Family CEO Chantal Belzberg. “Running through these same streets with pride, not fear, is a powerful statement that terrorism won’t succeed, and that we can overcome terror together.”

This year’s team included terror victims Renana Meir, whose mother Dafna was stabbed to death in her own home in 2016; Hadas Mizrahi, who was severely injured and her husband Baruch was killed in a road shooting on the way to the family Seder just before Passover in 2014; and Naftali Moses, whose son Avraham David was killed in the attack on the Mercaz HaRav yeshiva in 2008.

Other terror victims included children from One Family’s Youth Division, who ran alongside their counsellors and supporters.

“Seeing all of the red One Family t-shirts all around was extremely uplifting,” said Renana Meir. “It showed me that people really care, and that is a truly empowering feeling.”

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One Family Soccer Team Wins Eilat Tournament

The One Family Soccer Team took first place in it’s division at the Mehuziota sports tournament in Eilat, showing that the Power of Together can translate into success on the football pitch as well as in their lives.

Although the team’s coach, Ami Ben-David, and players speak about the Mehuziota weekend as a therapeutic opportunity to bond first and soccer second, Ziv Hellman, coordinator of One Family’s Young Adult Division said the two goals have a deeper relationship than people realise.

“What we saw in the games, the great teamwork and cooperation, is really just a mirror of what we were seeing the whole weekend,” he said. “All of the time we were spending together, building trust and understanding, was exactly what made us so successful in the games.”

The team, made up of injured or bereaved victims of terror, is a support group built around the player’s love for soccer. The group meets monthly for social evenings and plays soccer games in a business league in Jerusalem.

The team was joined this year by 3-year-old Natan Bennett, who was made an honorary member of the team. Natan’s father Aharon Bennett was killed in a terrorist attack in 2015. His mother was badly injured and he himself badly injured his foot.

 

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It’s been a busy year and we look forward to supporting the victims at One Family in the year ahead. We hope you have enjoyed reading about our events, if you would like to support the work of one Family UK please go to www.onefamilyuk.org/donate

 

 

Fun and love at the One Family Summer camp helping victims of terror

It’s the summertime retreat

 

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The summer retreat has arrived and for children who have lost a mother, father, brother or sister in a terrorist attack, fun isn’t a major part of their lives. But all of that changes when they arrive at One Family summer camp.

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For six days, bereaved children allow themselves to be children again. That’s the magic that happens when they are with other children who have experienced the same type of loss.

During the year One Family’s Youth Division helps bereaved children by forging relationships between them and their volunteer counselors. The counselors make regular visits to their homes, particularly on their birthdays and the anniversary of the death of their family members. They speak on the phone weekly.

The relationship is deepened throughout the year at One Family events. The pinnacle of which is Summer Camp, where the counselors spend a week with the campers, bonding and providing emotional support.

That’s why the 300 campers and 60 counselors look forward to the start of camp all summer. When they are under the weather as the camp is due to begin, one camper said, they’ll do whatever they need to do to feel better so they can be at camp.

At One Family Camp, children who have lost siblings or parents to terror do not need to stifle their feelings, as they often do in their everyday lives. They are free to be themselves with others who are struggling with the same challenges.

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Throughout the year, they feel different from others. At the One Family camp, they feel normal. As one of our campers said, “As soon as I stepped off the bus to start camp, I felt like myself again for the first time since the tragedy.”

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That feeling is the gateway to healing. And it’s happening right now.

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We wish you were there to see it in person. The pictures below capture some of the fun, excitement, and bonding we see each day at camp.

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Thank you to all of you for making this possible.

If you would like to support future summer camps please go to www.onefamilyuk.org/donate or contact andrew@onefamilyuk.org

Please like us on Facebook and follow us on twitter

Healing therapy flower sessions

In honour of the festival of Shavuot,  One Family members from central Israel enjoyed a special day of healing activities at the Rananna warm house.

 

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The  senses were awakened during a therapeutic healing floral workshop ran by staff member Sophie Vardi, who runs “Happiness through Flowers” workshops. The aim of the workshop, are to teach the ladies how to make hand tied bouquets with white flowers and wheat, traditionally used in floral arrangements for this festival to represent the harvest time but deeper than that, research has shown that flowers have a positive and healing effect on emotional well being. All the ladies commented how much they enjoyed the workshop and their faces were filled with light from this special morning.

The ladies also enjoyed a special challah baking experience with Karen Rosenberg Maoz, where Nicole Cohen, mother of Ophir, who was seriously wounded in Operation Protective Edge, made a blessing for his complete recovery.

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All the ladies then enjoyed a special dairy lunch followed by tasty cheesecake and received a blessing from Rabbi Kobi Pessel, who gave a talk about the days between Jerusalem Day and Shavuot and how we can take strength from this time. Rabbi Pessel, has been coming to One Family events at the warm house in Rannana for over a decade and he is the source of much strength for One Family members there.

Another important aspect of the day, was the coming together of all these ladies, gaining strength from each other. To see the positivity and energy these ladies experienced today despite the terrible pain in which they carry on a daily basis, it was an honour to be able to give them such an inspiring day. Chag Sameach!

If you enjoyed this blog please follow us on twitter and like us on facebook….

To make a donation to support these workshops please visit www.onefamilyuk.org/donate or contact Andrew@onefamilyuk.org

 

The Face of Hope Dinner – May 8th

Monday May 8th One Family UK held our Face of Hope dinner at the Lancaster London Hotel , attended by over 530 guests.

Everyone in the room heard from victims of terror in Israel who had all experienced tragic loss but have become the face of hope for us all as with the help of One Family they have rebuilt their lives.

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Chen Hayoun

Chen Hayoun -One day I wanted to buy a shirt. I was a senior in high school, full to the brim with wild hopes and dreams, often daydreaming about what my future would look like. I was doing just that as I strolled into the market at the Israeli city Hadera.

A moment later, my world was torn apart. A suicide bomber blew himself up, murdering five, and leaving me terribly wounded. I suffered major head and internal trauma, as well as grievous and extensive burns. For a month, I was hanging between life and death, with slim chances of survival.

But I fought. I fought for me. I fought for my family and friends. I fought for those who had lost their life that cursed day. And I survived. But I was a broken, shattered thing, and I needed help. A lot of it.

In the following months, I underwent many operations and other medical procedures, all designed to give me a chance for a relatively normal life. Most of them succeeded. Thank G-d I’m alive but with only 25% hearing and a body still full of shrapnel. Notwithstanding this I was proud to serve my country in the Israeli Defense Force’s Spokesperson’s unit.

I completed my law degree followed by a masters. I even got married. —all of this — would not have been possible without the help of One Family.  They cared for me, they helped me, they funded my scholarship through law school and they deserve the lion’s share of the credit for who I am today, though maybe they would not have done so if they knew I would end up a lawyer.

I’m not sure I believe in heavenly angels.  It’s hard to after the ordeal I went through. But today, with One Family, I believe in earthly ones.

One Family was my face of hope and I thank you all for making my life as possible as it is today

David Hatuel tells his story:

 

David Hatuel

On 2nd May 2004 I lost my family—my wife Tali and our four daughters: Hila 11, Hadar 9, Roni 7, and Merav 2. They were shot by terrorists while driving from Gush Katif to Ashkelon to meet me. The car was forced to swerve off the road and then the terrorist approached the car and shot them at point blank range. My wife was nine months pregnant… with our unborn son.

I thought to myself that I could not go on. I’d lost everything but my friends from my neighborhood stood by me, supporting me and stayed with me at every moment.  And if it wasn’t for them and for the support of One Family, I would not be standing here today. Every day a One Family counsellor came to me giving me the support I desperately needed. They were the face of hope and gave me tools to cope and get through those long days of despair. Day by day, slowly but surely I could see a way forward.

At times memories are what helps my heart continue pumping, to keep on progressing forward. For it is the recollections of good times, which enwrap within them the experiences, the smells, and the scenes which once were and will never return – awakening a desire to once again form new memories, to once again experience life.

Yesterday, was the 13th anniversary of my families’ murder. I lit five memorial candles last night and glanced at the burning flame. That same burning flame that is now inside me giving me the courage to come and talk to you this evening. For I know that without people like yourselves, supporting the work of One Family, this outstanding organization, the terrorists that decimated my life would be able to count many more victories. Thanks to people like you, I have been able to cope and move forward with my life.

I have married Limor and together we have five beautiful children. I am once again building a home. My new home is an addition and not a replacement of the home that was destroyed. My wife and children live inside me. I am like a tree whose branches were cut off and now they are growing again. I had two options: Fall down and be totally destroyed, or stand up and live. I am choosing to live! And as President of One Family, I hope I am helping others choose that same path.

Following the speakers Mary Dan Goor reiterated how One Family had helped her to rebuild her life after her son was killed in service to Israel.

Mary Dan Goor

                                                                                           Avigdor Gavish

Avigador has been a member of One Family since his parents, grandfather and brother were murdered in their family home in Elon Moreh, Avigdor when a terrorist infiltrated their home on March 28, 2002. His parents David & Rachel, both 50, maternal grandfather Rabbi Yitzhak Kanner, 83 and his brother Major Avraam Gavish, 20 were killed instantly.  Avigdor’s world was torn apart on that fateful evening. Avigdor describes the feeling as “a radioactive bomb and the radiation keeps hitting us, even after many years” Avigdor was serving in the IDF at the time and was only 20 years old.  The remaining six children, ages 15 to 22, managed to escape out of a second floor window whilst the terrorist was still in the house looking for them. For Avigdor and his siblings, the pain never goes away. Like other members of the Ophan’s division of One Family, the tragic and sudden loss of both parents in terrorist attacks undermines their very foundation, their sense of stability and security.  Avigdor and his siblings were taken in by the One Family orphan division and it remains a huge part of their lives until today.

Together with one Family, his music and his ‘Emunah/belief’ , he has been able to cope and breathe once more.

Avigdor studied engineering but in the last 6 years he has focused on his musical career recently launching his first album “Yom Chadash-New day”. His album is the ‘bridge between pain and hope’.

One Family has been an intrinsic part of Avigdors life since the fateful terror attack and has encouraged him to follow his dreams. Avigdor recently went on a One Family retreat to new York, Avigdor Picture 6 with other members of the Orphan’s division where he fulfilled a lifelong dream playing the piano on the fabled stage at the Carnegie Hall. Avigdor Picture 7

Avigdor speaks through his music and will lead all of us with a toast to the President & the State of Israel playing the Hatikvah, which means hope – and is exactly what tonight’s evening is all about?

Guests at the dinner ;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to coping with bad news is news

Coping with daily reports which we read, hear or see on TV is increasingly difficult ,here we outline coping mechanisms which can prove invaluable.

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Daily we hear on the news of thousands buried under rubble after an earthquake, countless migrants drowning in the Mediterranean trying to get away from wars to a safer shore, hordes of people in refugee camps with food and water in short supply, children used in the sex trade, police shootings, fires and floods, polar bears drowning from lack of ice flows, and worsening drought in California…and we are assured that these things will only get worse.

Not all the news is really bad, but people are more likely to watch TV or read about some catastrophe somewhere in the world or a robbery in our town than a hopeful story.

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Dr Amy Farabaugh writes: “Modern news coverage sometimes focuses on violent, shocking, or disturbing content that is intended to attract attention and generate an emotional reaction in the audience.” So the media follows the dictate: “If it bleeds, it leads,” and spins even neutral stories negatively. All of this may attract readers and viewers, but it is not an accurate picture of the state of our world if it only deals with the negatives.

Bad news has so much power because we have a visceral reaction when we hear or see it, we are literally hit in our gut. Many people get really anxious or depressed when exposed to so much suffering and turmoil. Randolph Hearst, the newspaper magnate, had a special newspaper printed for him with only good news. Pessimistic people may actually look for depressing or anxiety producing stories to reinforce their views of the world. Even I, though tending to be optimistic, get upset and have a heartache about the suffering, starving, displaced, frightened children in the newspaper photos.

Marian Preble, told the story of two little girls playing in a rose garden, one came running to her mother terribly upset about all the thorns that could prick her fingers, but the other came back all excited about the beautiful roses growing everywhere.

coping one family

Dr. Richard A. Friedman, clinical psychiatry professor at Weill Cornell Medical College, has found a genetic variation in the brain that makes some people able to cope better with bad news, forgetting bad experiences, while others tend to remember every detail of negative events and perceive them all as having equal weight, so that the loss of a good parking spot seems as terrible as the loss of an heirloom.

Certain announcements (“You’re fired,” “I want to break up,” “There’s been an accident”) have a way of slamming into your life like a wrecking ball. When they do, researchers have discovered a healthy way to cope: a simple technique called self-distancing.

coping one family

Rather than immersing oneself in the bad news and sinking into obsessive analysis, “self-distancing essentially gives you a psychological time-out,” says Ethan Kross, PhD, “It involves taking a mental step back from a painful episode. You become a fly on the wall, watching yourself in the experience and reflecting on it from a distance.

Coping mechanisms

Meditation is used by many as an antidote to the constant stimuli battering their brains. Coping with bad news by going for a walk, being in nature, and looking at trees were also frequently mentioned. Being part of a support group where problems can be shared is helpful to some. One idea of particular interest is making a rule that for the next meal the conversation cannot touch on medical, family problems or politics. The topics suggested are books one is reading, worthwhile journal articles, and the positive actions one is taking—in other words, talking about ideas, intellectual pursuits, and all the fun stuff.

The way Dr Amy Farabaugh deals with her own sadness of the coming demise of the polar bears is by remembering how evolution works: species come and species go. The polar bears may become extinct, however, some have begun mating with brown bears, so she is looking forward to a whole new species of speckled or striped bears. You cannot do anything about suffering multitudes, but if you turn to the problems of children in the city, you have some leverage by either funding a program or speaking up on behalf of some organisation that is making a difference.

In one experiment, Kross and his colleagues asked students to think of a difficult episode from their past. Those in one group were told to relive the event as if it were happening again; the others were instructed to visualize moving away from the situation to a vantage point where they could watch themselves in the unfolding drama as if it were a video. The self-distancing group not only felt less distressed but registered notably lower blood pressure. “This distancing,” Kross says, “facilitates the ability to work through the event, leading people to have insights that buffer them against future negative reactions. If you ask them to recall the same experience a week later, they don’t become as upset as people who don’t distance. They also ruminate less.”

So focus on what you can control

Discuss the troublesome news with others to try to get a different perspective;

  • Pay attention to upbeat stories, heroes are everywhere
  • Look for news of new research
  • Look at innovations in technology, medicine, design, art, or architecture; meditate; list five things you were grateful for today
  • Take a walk
  • Talk to a friend
  • Listen to music
  • Smile
  • Whenever bad feelings recur, try distancing
  • Mentally take a step back so you can visualise yourself in the experience—it’s now happening to the person (you) over there.
  • Ask why this person is reacting the way she is. (Don’t focus on what happened, or you’ll become overwhelmed with negative feelings.)
  • As you watch the person go through the event, try to make sense of why they are having these feelings
  • Try distancing again

Credits; Tim Jarvis – Oprah.com

Credits; Dr Natasha Josefowitz – Huffington Post

 

 

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